It's Christmas, kids! So have some crack fiction I had to get out of my head. Admire it in all it's un-edited greatness.
Awkward Cullen and Casual Potter were sitting on the highest roof of the Arcvards School of Strange Arts and Weirdcraft. They shared a six-pack of beer and just relaxed hiding from their everyday life.
Awkward glowed with an extraordinary good mood today. He chuckled occasionally while his fingers flew over the keyboard of his notebook. When the pale boy laughed out loud for the third or eighteenth time, shaking his head and copper hair again, Potter stopped throwing bolts of casualty down at people.
„What's the matter, Arc?“, asked Casual putting his wand away inside his jacket. „Everytime we go up here for moping and subtle amounts of self-confidence you get all giggly and shiney.“
Awkward look up from his notebook. His eyes were a mottled brown of no further description.
„I never told you? I'm an inward sparkle-pire. My whole bloodline starts sparkling like rainbows on speed once a beam of light hits them. You should see our annual family meetings. Whole bunch of sparkling vampires being miserable and blaming fate. Or Heisenberg.“
„Heisenberg?“
„Yeah, dunno where that came from but they really hate this guy. Nothing funnier that a dozen vampires cutting themselves drowing in waves and splatters of shiney blood while screaming 'Heisenberg!' It looks like one of these Las Vegas illuminated fountains gone completely wrong.“
„That didn't make my life even a bit less weird but it also doesn't explain your shiny mood.“
„Right, I forgot the most imporant part. The gift and curse of my family works inwards for me. Whenever I get bathed in the sunlight my inner self becomes all optimistic and flushed with happy feelings without even the slightest sense.“
„Sounds like one bad Indierock trip.“
„They say it can be traced back to one of my grandfather's superpower. A man called Inward Cullen. Never met him but sounds like a nice guy.“
They sat there in awkward silence for a while.
„So, what's with you? I mean, angsty and destructive all the time. Sorry but isn't it a bit cliche?“
„I've never meet any hardships in my life. I'm the child of a powerful wizard and witch and grew up protected and loved.“
„That's tough, Cash.“
„Yeah, no stereotyped motivations for character development anywhere. Not even close. That's why I get so easily bored and do random shit.“ Casual looked down at the schoolyard buzzing with tiny people on the way to their next irritating lesson. His brows furrowed in a thoughtful way. „Hey, let's build a tower in the woods that looks like a gaint penis and insult some boars. "
" That really sounds .. not fun at all "
" Say that again when I bring on some badass boar-insulting on top of that of that gaint penis. "
" Oh, I will. I sure will. "
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